It always comes back to the beginning.

No matter how hard we try to leave the past behind, it always comes back to us.

I'm right back where I started, perhaps now I can discover who I am again.

I lost myself during those months.

It is time, I refound myself and refound my faith in the cause.

It is time for the Storm to be free.

( Private )

I feel I must apologise to all of you. I never meant to hurt any of you and had I been in my right mind, I would have stopped myself before I was stopped by you.

I only hope that with time, you can find it in your hearts to forgive and I hope all of those who were injured are healing well and once again, I apologise for everything and I promise nothing like this will ever happen again.

If anyone should want or need to see me, you can find me in the danger room. I'm stealing it whilst I can but please make sure you announce your arrival before entering the room itself.

My thoughts are jumbled, I can't seem to focus on any one thing.

I remember being pulled from that box and being forced onto a table and then nothing, it usually means, they've done something to me. I don't know what they did this time but I feel strange, like every part of my body is alive, like every part of me is connected to the other, like I can control every part easily. But control is fleeting, I know this better than anyone, if I allow myself to simply let go, my powers will rage angrily and things will be ruined, I have to be in control but technically I'm not in control of myself or this situation.

The collar, the people behind the collar, those are the things in control, those are the things that keep me in line. I fight back when I can but the more I fight, the harder things get and the more resistance I encounter, I do not know what they want me to do next. I have already done so much, what more could there be to do? I am sure they'll think of something, they usually do.

I can't bring myself to think about John or about Scott, the things I did, I wish I could take them back but I can't. I suppose, I'll have to wait and see, to see where this path takes me, what the next step is, but I do wish for one thing, a painkiller, the throbbing in my head is something I could do without.

I often think people underestimate me, the guard for instance, did not see me taking the pin from his uniform, and with that pin, I can be free of the cuffs around my wrists and ankles, there are things to be said for being a thief, wouldn't you agree Remy?

I need to rest, I've been told, they...he will come for me again, I must be rested for that.

Have you ever watched a clock? Seen its hands ticking by and thought, more time has gone by and nothing's changed?

I know I have, and I still do, even now after everything I've seen, everything I've done and everything that's happened.

Nothing's changed and I don't know if it will ever change, change is supposedly the one constant in this world, other than time of course, but what do you do, when nothing changes and everything remains the same?

Do you keep on doing what you have been doing? Or do you try something else, just to see what that does?

A cold night outside with nature seems to have turned me into quite the philosopher, if only Henry were here, he and I could spend the hours talking about this sort of thing, ponder the Universe and perhaps, find our place in the scheme of things.

He's not here though, I suppose, it's just me, nature and the stars.

There has been rumour that Remy is in the medlab, this causes me great concern because as long as I've known Gambit, he's never been ill once. I do hear though, that Kitty is with him and I know she will do all that she can to make sure he's taken care of, one more motherhen in the medlab wouldn't do him any good, I'll simply have to sit this one out. May the Goddess keep him safe.

( To Kitty )

Scott has returned to us, I must say it has been good to see him, have another like me in our midst. I have been feeling rather out of sorts and out of place, with all the new intake and new characters our mansion now houses. He gave me a chance to talk out how I had been feeling which certainly made a pleasant change, usually it is I, who allows others to talk.

For now, I am simply going to pray for Remy's sake. If anyone wishes to find me, I shall be in the garden.

I believe the word for that escapade would be disaster, complete and utter disaster.

I will have to talk with the Professor about who exactly inhabits this mansion, I believe I have been kept in the dark on many a thing. I got dragged into a situation I had no idea about and then told what to do by a person who appeared to be at the centre of all this, not to mention what happened with John.

Complete and utter chaos, luckily we all managed to escape with our lives, so I suppose that is something.

To say I am angry would be an understatement but for now. I am going to distract myself by checking on our guest in the medlab and perhaps take some of my frustrations out in the danger room.

If anyone should want or need me, I shall be there.

Whilst the others are away, doing what?

Only the Goddess knows, but I have met some new people. A red haired woman who appeared to be wounded along with a dark haired man, who appeared to be her saviour. I haven't determined what exactly led the woman to us, or caused her injury but it is rather hard to learn of these things when the person in question, happens to be unconscious.

The man on the other hand is called Logan, and he appears to be different from the average person. He did seem somewhat freaked out when I exhibited my power to him but I felt it would answer some of the questions I could see in those eyes of his, he certainly is an enigma. Hopefully one I will have the time to get to know and perhaps even solve?

But that might be wishful thinking on my part, the mansion is so very empty and I am lonesome. Perhaps I should head out and have a little fun, Gambit appears to have disappeared but I have the feeling, he does that a lot.

( Private )

Yes, It is definitely good to be home and back with the people I care about. I do not know what it is but the mansion inspires such tranquility in myself, perhaps it is because I am helping others like myself and helping the Professor. I have had time to unpack so my room looks like its old self, and I feel better in there. I shoud start burning some oils to give my room, that smell I love so much, perhaps I should head down into town and have a look around.

I met Remy LeBeau the other day, a very charming young man with a smile that most ladies would kill for. He seems quite sweet and he is rather endearing underneath all that charm and nonchalance. I think he will make a good addition to the mansion, that is of course if he can keep his hands off the precious things, but I have no doubt that he will.

Yes, it is good to be home. Very good!

I have finally returned from my trip back to Africa, I took some personal leave to visit the family. Just to see how things were coming along and if they were doing okay, it was lovely to go back. So many good memories but also some of the bad, but that is life after all. You take the good with the bad, and hopefully the good outweighs the bad. It was just nice to get back to my roots, from the place I came from and the place I think still has hold over a signifigant amount of my heart.

But yes it is good being back at the mansion, it means I can continue my work and help the Professor with his cause. I was told of a girl called Rogue, someone who has come to us recently and so I went to see her, and the poor girl didn't even have any clothes of her own. No wonder she thinks so little of herself, so I took her out shopping. I made sure she had a very good selection and just let her have some fun, we all need that sometimes. I also met a man called John who appears to be able to manipulate fire, quite impressive.

Rogue's powers are rather hard for her to bear, I do not blame her. I could never imagine what it must be like not to be able to touch anyone in fear of killing them, I thought that my powers were difficult but yes, with time. Things will get better for her and all of us here, that is the dream of us all. But for now, I have some things to catch up on.